Children!  Nothing can change the mood of a wedding more than those little darlings chosen to be the ring bearer and/or flower girls.  In my experience, I have seen them destroy a mood by crying or refusing to go down the aisle or be a comical mess with their interpretation of how they should go down the aisle.  One of the most frequent questions I get from clients is: what is the most appropriate age for a flower girl or ring bearer?  It depends.  There is really no definitive answer to this question. So how do you choose?  Let’s look at it…

Too Young?

Even though your three year old nephew or niece is cute and outgoing.  How will he/she be affected when all of those eyes are looking at him/her walk down the aisle?  Stage fright hits even the strongest of adults.  Yes it is true all they are doing is walking but for some little people it is a walk of death. All of those people staring at them…that’s scary!  Then there are a few, who will relish the stage and upstage everyone and everything.  Drawing attention to themselves, doing things they normally would not do but because the spotlight is on them they take advantage.

Too OLD!

Just like you don’t want a little one who is too young walking down the aisle.  Don’t embarrass a tweenager, especially young ladies, by giving them the honor of being your flower girl.   Young men generally don’t make a big deal out of being a ring bearer.  They are just happy they get to stand up front next to the groom.  There are always exceptions but generally tweenagers (ages 11-14) are NOT interested in “baby” jobs!

My Recommendation

Children participating in the ceremony be at least school age. Preferably in at least first grade.  Why?  Experience.  Maturity. Desire. Tweenagers, on the other hand, should be given the positions of Junior Groomsman/Usher or Junior Bridesmaid/hostess.  Here they still get the spotlight most tweenagers crave, without looking like a baby.  Before you assign these positions to tweenagers I would strongly suggest asking them first, if they would mind being a flower girl/ring bearer or would they prefer being a Junior Bridesmaid/Groomsman.   


All in all it is your choice.  Some of my clients like the excitement and drama little people bring.  At times they do make interesting, sometimes hilarious video footage.  Remember, the bottom line is what you want your guests’ take away to be; of that cute kid or the beautiful couple?  Do you want or need assistance creating a beautiful and memorable occasion that includes children?  Contact us at 216-672-5451

Cleveland, OH Event Planner | Dream Weddings & Events, LLC.